A Dream Becomes Reality

This is a tale about a girl who believed wholeheartedly that she was not a runner.  She also believed that she could do anything that she put her mind to.  That girl is me:)

One year ago I waited for my husband to cross the finish line of the Half Marathon he was running on the 4th.  As I waited I watched several people crossing the finish line who did not seem like the typical runners you would expect to see.  That is when I noticed that their bibs said "5K" on them.  As I waited and watched I realized that I wanted to be one of them.  I began to acknowledge that I wasn't happy with where I was at physically.  I was overweight and doing nothing about it.  My excuses were the typical ones of not having enough time, procrastination, lying to myself by pretending to believe that I was okay with it, and the list goes on.  I realized as I stood there that things would never change for me if I didn't do something about it.  Yes, I had given birth to 2 children.  But, that didn't mean that I had to carry around the extra 30 pounds any more.

By the time Andrew crossed the finish line my resolve was set.  At home I told him that my plan was to train and run a 10K in December.  He was so supportive of me and didn't think it was a joke at all that I thought I could do it.  Gotta love that man!  So I started training.  I took the running seriously, but I didn't really change my eating habits.  I lost some weight, but more than losing weight I was getting in shape.  I had muscles again;)  I found a way to run even when I didn't want to.  I figured out how to deal with the pain of shin splints and toughed it out.  I ran that 10K!  Then I decided that it was freezing cold outside and my shins needed a break.  So I took the rest of December off from running.  Then I had my pregnancy in January and the months that followed of health issues and post-partum depression.  What little weight I had managed to lose I easily put back on (and probably a couple more pounds if I'm being honest.)  I went from being in the best physical shape of my life right back to the worst in a really short span of time.

When I first started running last summer Andrew told me that I would grow to love it.  I laughed.  He told me that if I ever stopped I would miss it.  I laughed harder.  When I found myself in the position I was in 3 months ago I realized that what I wanted to do was run.  I missed it.  (I know.  I was shocked too!)  As soon as I was medically cleared for it I went for it.  It was an exciting day for me to run that first time.  I worked at home to clear out all the extra stuff that was around me so that I could have a space more free from distraction and clutter.  I moved things around in my room so that the spin bike would have a place front and center.  I started to think about what I was eating.  I didn't change anything about it yet, but I thought about it;)  The weight loss was slow, but my physical shape was returning.

Then I signed up for the Biggest Loser contest at work and decided to take it seriously.  Not too serious of course because I do like a treat every now and then!  It has been 7 weeks since I started the BL and about 3 months since I really started to work out.  I have finally lost all the weight that came with and after Reagan and some of the weight from Jonathan!!!  To get back to where I was when I got married I still have 19 pounds to lose.  That seems like a lot, but since I started this journey I've lost 16 pounds.  I know what I did to gain the weight and I know what I have to do to lose the rest of it.  

Yesterday morning I woke up early and got ready to run.  The butterflies were intensely present.  Not because I've never run 5K before, but because this was the one year mark since I set my goal.  My dream of running started one year earlier.  It was very surreal to be lacing up my shoes to run with my husband on the 4th instead of sending him on his way.  I wanted to turn around because I was afraid of what would happen. I had put a goal out there to run a sub 30 and I feared I would fail.  I desperately wanted to prove to myself that I could do it.  The butterflies intensified as I waited for the race to start.  The start time kept getting pushed back due to the insane amount of traffic and runners who were late getting there.  When we started I started a little faster than I meant to and quickly realized I couldn't maintain that pace for 3 miles so I backed off.  It was frustrating to be passed up, but my goal wasn't to pass other people it was to run my race so I did.  There were several friends running the race too.  I saw Nicole first (she's the fastest!) headed back from the turn around, then Matt, and then I turned around, then it was Ranae, Heidi, Christmas, Noelle, Braxten, Nick, and Joy.  Each familiar face was like a kick to keep going strong.  There was a runner that was really making me mad though.  He would walk and I would pass him, then he would sprint past me, then he would walk and I would pass him.  This went on for way too long--so annoying!

The weather was beautiful, but I was quickly drying out.  The water station was so tempting that I made the mistake of actually drinking a little bit while I ran.  Within 30 seconds I was ready to hurl.  I even began scanning the side of the road for a place to throw up discreetly;)  Just as I was considering slowing down and backing off Ranae caught up with me.  She had a goal to run a sub 30 also, so I knew if I kept pace with her I should be good.  That last 1/2 mile was brutal as I ran harder than ever before and fought the urge to lose it.  We passed the mile markers for the half and full marathon runners and I jokingly said as we passed mile 26 "We did it! We ran a marathon!!"  When we ran across the finish line the only disappointment was knowing that Andrew was still out there and wouldn't see me finish my race.  What I saw when I finally looked at my stopwatch I didn't believe.  I still don't believe what I managed to do.  Not only did I make my goal, but I kicked its trash!  My official time was 27:27 (8:50 pace).  I finished 10/30 for my age, 98/295 overall, and 41/182 of women.  I will gloat and say: I ROCK!

Andrew wasn't far behind me and also had a goal to meet.  He wanted to run a sub 100 half marathon.  He just pulled it off in the end and made that goal!  He ran the half marathon in 1:39:31 (7:35 pace).  He finished 168/1874 overall, 25/99 for his age, and 124/610 for men.

More than anything this process has taught me that if I put my mind to something then I can do it.  I will run the 10K again in December and shoot for a PR in that event.  I will keep trudging along on this weight loss journey.  I will make my life more healthy and more full of meaning, hopefully influencing my children to make healthy choices as well.  And more than anything I will now begin to accept the fact that I AM A RUNNER!