Adrian has been living here with us for over a month now and it has been a long month. There are a lot of issues that have come up along the way. Some of them I have no problem handling due to the crash course in parenting I received being the second oldest of 11. Others are things I have no clue what to do about! I try not to let them get me down or frustrate me, I never get frustrated with Adrian over them, unless he is being dishonest about something. But, I get frustrated at situations. I keep telling myself that it isn't worth it to get frustrated since that won't change anything, but then I struggle with not knowing what to do. Last week things came to a head. I went to pick Adrian up from school and his teacher informed me that he had made the choice to do nothing that day. He had not done any of his class work and had not gotten to participate in recess or some of the other class activities. She said that at one point he said he couldn't do his work because his hands hurt, but that if he wore his gloves that would make them feel better (what an imagination!). She said she let him wear the gloves but still no work was done. I didn't know what to say other than to apologize for his behavior and thank her for letting me know. In my mind there were all kinds of thoughts running around, I won't share them though as most, if I had acted on them, would be big "no-nos" of parenting!
I felt really overwhelmed and didn't know what to do. I of course called my mom and vented, got some advice, but still didn't know what to do. Then I vented to Andrew that to didn't lead to any resolved frustrations. I wish I could say that I had turned to the Lord for help sooner, but that would be a lie. When I finally realized that my own understanding was not enough to lean on, I received an answer to my dilemma. I thought of the top things that were struggles and then narrowed it down to 4: finishing class-work, doing homework, dry nights, and dry days. I made a chart with 4 grids (30 squares each) and then for our "FHE" we discussed what the issues were and what the solution would be. For every day that Adrian was successful at these things he would get to place a sticker on the grids. Once all 4 grids are full he gets to go to Chuck E Cheese (this is a sacrifice on my part, since I am not a huge fan!). The first couple of days went well and then there was a relapse. That night when it came time for stickers he didn't get to put any on. It was interesting to see his response. The excuses came first, "I forgot" "I couldn't tell" "I tried" "Sometimes I don't feel it" and then the reality sunk in for him. Those were all excuses and they didn't change the fact that he had not earned the stickers. Everyday since then has been going well. Today has been the best, at least for me, so far. When my mom picked him up his teacher was waiting to talk. Up until now this has not lead to a very positive conversation, but today was different. She said "if you could relay the message to Adrian's parents for me, I just wanted to let them know that Adrian has been doing so well this week. It is like having a different kid in class. He is paying attention, participating, doing his work. Whatever you guys have started doing at home keep doing it because he is doing a lot better." Can I just say that this news was such a relief to me? I know that there will still be days that are hard and the prospect of Chuck E Cheese's will not always be motivating factor for positive change, but it is nice to see some results finally.
In other news, today is the official 11 week mark for baby! Baby is still wrecking havoc on my digestive system, but it seems to be getting better. Thank you to everyone for all your encouraging thoughts. The nausea is not so bad and I have been able to do a little more cooking, however I cannot get past this heartburn! I don't know what it is that keeps giving it to me, I get it almost every evening and it sometimes lasts late into the night no matter how many tums I take. If anyone has some good remedies, please share. I should tell you that I am not too keen on taking meds for it unless I have no other options. But anything will be better than nothing! Hope you are all having a wonderful week...
8 comments:
I'm glad to hear things are looking up. I had really bad heartburn every time, the thing that really worked was trying eliminating different foods from my diet until I figured out what I could safely eat. My main triggers were tomatoes, all citrus fruit and anything fried or oily. You might just try fiddling with your diet and see if that helps. Hope it goes away, because that is no fun!
Yay! That's great news! I hope the good days continue. And I'm sure as he continues to settle into his new life and routine that he will continue to improve in attitude and performance. :) And congrats on Week 11! You should start to feel better soon.
Isn't it nice to hear the positive! I also hope you start feeling better soon.
I am so glad things are improving. About the heartburn, try turning your pillow so that it follows your spine. Does that make sense? It really helped for me this last time.
Hi Toshia,
Anything with citrus gave me bad heartburn, expecially orange juice. I also would get it bad during the night if I drank water before bed. I just popped a couple of tums before bed and I was good to go.....I didn't figure this out until I was 8 months pregnant.
Aaaahhhh...the joys of parenting. SO many ups and downs! Glad you received good news from school and hears to hoping it continues :)
It sounds like you are adapting to this whole instant mom thing pretty well! I hate to admit that for most issues such as this I don't think to turn to the Lord first either. But life would be so much easier if I did! I am glad that you are starting to feel a little better. Now it's just 198 more days of being uncomfortable!
11 weeks already?! Yipee!!
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