Ory to Gah!

Sundays are hard for me. For the past year I have been a single mom at church. This is due to the fact that in order for Andrew to keep his job while he is in school he has to work on Sundays and there wasn't a shift available that would allow for him to go to church at 11. I am super excited that in a few weeks he will be able to change shifts and get off work at 12 so he can go to church with us at 1pm! I have almost forgotten what it is like to have help during those 3 hours.

I know that I am not alone in feeling like I spend most of those 3 hours tending children and not really getting much in the way of spirituality for me. However, I don't view my lot as a hardship. For most of my life that I can remember my dad was either in the bishopric or had stake callings that required him to be elsewhere. We often went most of Sunday hardly seeing him and my mom shuttled us kids to church and wrestled for 3 hours then carted us back home. Bless her heart for the positive attitude she usually had and the example she was to me. I know that this season in my life is one where I am more focused on the needs of my children than my own, which means I take my children to church in hopes that they will be spiritually fed and that maybe something good will stick in their brains and that their hearts will be touched. Lately I have had several different people comment to me about how hard it must be, how strong I am, or that I am better than they are because they don't think they could do it. I usually just smile and say something like, "It's okay, it works for us. I have my helpers." What I want to say is that anyone could do it if they had to and made the choice to just do it. And that if they knew what I was thinking they wouldn't think so highly of me! Trust me, when I am toting around an overflowing diaper bag, a stuffed church bag, a 17 lb. baby in a carseat and watching over my should for the 2 year old who calls out "I toming mama!" over and over to let me know he is still there, I am thinking to myself "What am I doing? I should have just stayed home today!" There are moments when I am having my own little pity-party and thinking about how it sucks and that I can't recall a single thing that was said during any of my meetings. And then there are those moments of tender mercies.

I decided a few months ago that I needed something to keep Jonathan busy during sacrament. I was feeling a little guilty about the food bribery and the Toy Story/Star Wars toys that were accompanying us to church. They didn't really invite the spirit and they were kind of out of place. I remembered a felt quiet book my mom had made us as children and I thought "I can do that! I'll make one for Jonathan for Christmas." And I did...it was way more work than I thought it would be (let's just say I won't be making another one any time soon!) As my mom calls it, it was a labor of love. Last week it held his attention for all of 10 minutes (out of 70...not exactly what I was going for). I put it back in the bag and brought it back out today. It held his attention for about 20 minutes this time! I was holding Reagan and trying to keep Jonathan quiet and Adrian focused and all I could think was "my kid is sooo loud! why won't he stop making all that noise. Maybe I shouldn't have made this stupid book!" When my friend sitting behind me leaned forward and whispered "Is he singing 'Glory to God?'" I stopped shushing him for a second and actually listened. Out of this sweet 2 year olds mouth came the "words" "Ory to Gah! Ory to Gah! Ory to Gah!" over and over again. He was playing with the Ikea animal finger puppets and the Noah's ark/Garden of Eden pages and singing. I was shocked! We probably only sang "Far, Far Away on Judea's Plains" once last month and it is not one that I remember really singing at home this past Christmas season, but somehow it stuck in his mind. Could it be that these sweet babies of ours once sang "Glory to God" as angels? I feel so blessed to be the mother of these 4 crazy children. I often wonder if I am doing what I should in trying to teach them the gospel and it is moments like this that I find my Father in Heaven letting me know that He is pleased. Jonathan is really into praying (all the time-no joke!) and every night he wants a bedtime story--always the same ones about Nephi (or "Nee-hi!" as he calls him). Thank you God for giving me these sweet angels and letting me know in your own way that I must be doing something right.

***Disclaimer: Although angelic tendencies have on occasion been noted, Jonathan is still a very obnoxious 2 year old who more often than not is screaming/punching/air "shooting" and displaying a host of other non-angelic activities--but, I still love him!***