God put us here on this carnival ride.
We close our eyes, never knowing where it'll take us next.
(Wheel of the World by Carrie Underwood)
This song has been running through my mind a lot this past week. Last week I had some more testing done because I was still having issues and found out that I did indeed have an ectopic pregnancy. This meant that last Wednesday I was at the hospital getting a couple shots of the chemo drug methotrexate in my hip. I have a new respect for anyone on chemotherapy. That is a powerful drug! I'm not going to lie, I totally passed out. There was blood work to monitor blood cell counts on Saturday and then again today. Today they also checked the HCG levels again and the good news is that they are coming down! This means that the drug is working and I should be in the clear as far as surgery goes. Next week I have to get the blood work done again just to confirm things and I am hoping that is the last stick I get for a while.
This has been a really long 4 weeks for me. I really have felt like I am on a roller coaster--both physically and emotionally. I have days where I feel "normal" and full of energy with my typical love of life...and then days where I am completely wiped out and struggle to do the basic things I need to be doing. My "to do" list is getting longer by the minute and I almost don't care. I am learning that the world doesn't stop if there are dishes in the sink and loads of laundry left undone. It all gets done eventually. I am feeling like once I am fully in the clear then I will be able to reach some level of closure and move on. I hope that comes next week. I don't play waiting games very well;)
Thank you to all of my sweet friends and family who have been there for me and my family this past month. Even if you haven't known what is going on, I have felt your love for us and clung to it. It's the trials in life that end up giving us the perspective we need if we let them. I may not know what lesson lies in this trial, but I know there is one. If nothing else, I am learning to have faith in God's timing and trust in His plan for me.
We close our eyes, never knowing where it'll take us next.
(Wheel of the World by Carrie Underwood)
This song has been running through my mind a lot this past week. Last week I had some more testing done because I was still having issues and found out that I did indeed have an ectopic pregnancy. This meant that last Wednesday I was at the hospital getting a couple shots of the chemo drug methotrexate in my hip. I have a new respect for anyone on chemotherapy. That is a powerful drug! I'm not going to lie, I totally passed out. There was blood work to monitor blood cell counts on Saturday and then again today. Today they also checked the HCG levels again and the good news is that they are coming down! This means that the drug is working and I should be in the clear as far as surgery goes. Next week I have to get the blood work done again just to confirm things and I am hoping that is the last stick I get for a while.
This has been a really long 4 weeks for me. I really have felt like I am on a roller coaster--both physically and emotionally. I have days where I feel "normal" and full of energy with my typical love of life...and then days where I am completely wiped out and struggle to do the basic things I need to be doing. My "to do" list is getting longer by the minute and I almost don't care. I am learning that the world doesn't stop if there are dishes in the sink and loads of laundry left undone. It all gets done eventually. I am feeling like once I am fully in the clear then I will be able to reach some level of closure and move on. I hope that comes next week. I don't play waiting games very well;)
Thank you to all of my sweet friends and family who have been there for me and my family this past month. Even if you haven't known what is going on, I have felt your love for us and clung to it. It's the trials in life that end up giving us the perspective we need if we let them. I may not know what lesson lies in this trial, but I know there is one. If nothing else, I am learning to have faith in God's timing and trust in His plan for me.
1 comments:
Bless you!! I am so sorry about the whole rollercoaster. How difficult. I'm glad you're okay and that you've had a lot of support. God's timing and plan are always the best, but sometimes it's really hard to see. Your faith will take you far and get you through. *hugs*
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